Having a perfect family is something I’ve always wished for. That wish didn’t really come true though. My dad died when I was only 4 years old from cancer and the past few years I’ve struggled to accept it and I felt like my family wasn’t complete anymore.
It’s been more than ten years, and I’m still learning how to cope with it. I was really young when it happened, and I didn’t really remember. In seventh grade, I finally understood what happened. I started thinking about it more and more, but I also wanted to stop those thoughts so I kept my guard up a lot. I wanted to filter out the thought of him and I started to ask myself what things would’ve looked like if he was still here. There were many times where I would be sad and wished he was still here with me. I would try talking to him at night and hope that he was listening and watching over me. Slowly, over time I was able to be grateful that my life is the way it is. My mom has done so much for me and I have had more opportunities that could’ve never happened if my life didn’t turn out like this. I’ve learned to truly accept what happened and I’m feeling better now. It was a hard process and there’s no denying it.
The song below also helped me finally find peace. This song wasn’t released until this year, but made me realize he was there for me and I can get through my life without this picture-perfect family, because that doesn’t exist and as long as my family is there for me, I’m happy.
